Requiscat In Pace
by Meret
Summary: Lionel thinks at Lilly's funeral service.


Title: Requiscat in Pace  
Author: Meret  
Spoilers: Shimmer, Crush, Tempest (AKA No Warning)   
Rating: G  
Email: This is my first Smallville fic. Please let me know what  
you think at meret118@netscape.net  
Summary: Lionel thinks at Lilly's funeral service.  
Web Page:http://www.geocities.com/meretsv/  
These characters are owned by Millar Gough and WB. No profit   
is intended from their use. If I owned them, I'd be busy finding   
out if Clark had super stamina too.   
My thanks to Rosenho for her encouragement and to the generous  
Jennifus for her wonderful beta. :) Author's notes at the end.   
  
Requiscat In Pace  
by Meret   
  
May 10th, 1993, Metropolis   
  
". . . Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow   
of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; Thy rod  
and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before   
me in the presence of mine enemies . . . ."   
  
Lionel ignored the drone of the reverend, just as he did the   
overpowering scent of the lilies. It was all rubbish anyway.   
Dead was dead. The only kingdoms were the ones on earth. The   
ones he ruled, and the ones he would rule in the future. But   
Lilly had wanted this service. She had planned it all out to   
the smallest detail so he wouldn't have to deal with it. Even   
at the end she hadn't stopped caring, hadn't stopped putting  
others' needs first.   
  
He had never loved anyone like he loved Lilly. He had never   
met anyone like her before, and he would never meet anyone like  
her again - in this world or some nonexistent paradise. Lionel  
gave to charity. They were good tax deductions and even better  
PR. But he didn't enjoy it. Not like Lilly. Her favorite part   
about having money seemed to be giving it away. She had  
made The Luther Charity Foundation into one of the premier  
benevolent organizations in the world.   
  
She loved musicals and old movies, her favorite movie being "It's  
a Wonderful Life." The one she was always quoting to him though  
was "Hello Dolly." "Money, pardon the expression, is like manure.  
It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around encouraging young   
things to grow," complete with a wicked Streisand impersonation.   
Money was nothing like manure. Well, all right . . . in the   
fertilizer business, yes. Not the way she meant it, though. But   
anything with "Barbara" in it was the best as far as she was  
concerned. He'd showered her with more jewels than the Queen of   
England, but her favorite present he'd ever given her was the   
private concert with Streisand he'd arranged for her birthday.   
  
Her laughter. He had been trying to decide what was the first  
thing he had noticed about her. It was important to know now for  
some reason. She seemed to live outside her skin. He hadn't known  
a person could feel so much. Her laughter was audible champagne   
and her tears scalded worse than any betrayal. She made him feel  
alive.   
  
He didn't know how he had found the strength to watch her die.  
Watching her suffer was the hardest thing he'd ever done. He had  
never been so grateful to have work as an outlet, an escape from  
her endless pain and his helplessness to stop it. It had been   
torment seeing her like that. Apart of him hated her for putting   
him through it.   
  
He had already decided he would never marry again, never let   
himself love again. He couldn't risk having to go through this   
again. Nothing was worth this. No, that wasn't true, he thought,   
glancing at his son sitting stiffly beside him. Lex was worth it.  
He was the only reason that made this pain worthwhile. He was   
clutching the watch Lionel had had made for Lilly to give him.   
She was too sick at that point to truly understand the significance   
of it, but he'd made sure Lex did.   
  
Lex's eyes were still a bit swollen, but the compresses had   
helped, and the discreet application of make-up had covered the  
redness. Discretion was the key in all things. A few tears were   
fine. They showed respect. Assured the public of your nobility.   
But not the uncontrolled sobbing that Lex had indulged in. He had  
had to discipline Lex several times before he finally stopped. A   
bad trait Lex had picked up from his mother, but Lionel was sure   
he had ended the habit in time. Showing emotion was a liability   
a Luthor couldn't afford.   
  
He shifted slightly as Leontyne Price began Ave Maria. The   
turnout was good, as expected - business leaders, a few well known  
figures in the arts for cachet, even a couple of former heads of   
state. Lillian's plans for the service had been too simple of course.  
The grave site would need to be made larger as well. Maybe a statue  
of some sort. Not your everyday angel. Something different, unique,  
as befitting a Luthor.   
  
He glanced again at the next generation of Luthors sitting beside  
him. A part of him also hated Lex for being so easily influenced   
by his mother. It was fine for Lilly to act like she did. She had   
him to protect her. But one day Lionel wouldn't be around to protect  
Lex. He had to be able to make it on his own.   
  
He hated Lex for being so weak that he left Lionel with no options.  
He hated Lex more than he hated Lilly, but he blamed Lilly more. She  
was the adult, the parent. She should have been able to force herself   
to act differently in order to help their child prepare for his place   
in the world. It wasn't as if Lionel had wanted to make the choice he   
did. He had put it off for years, hoping one of them would change.   
But Lex just became more and more like her no matter what he did to  
prevent it. In the end the most difficult part hadn't been the   
decision to finally do it, he had no choice there, but the decision  
as to how.   
  
His first thought had been an accident of some sort. Something   
quick and painless. He certainly didn't want Lilly to suffer. But  
since he was doing this all for Lex, then he needed to make sure it  
was worth it, that Lilly's death wouldn't be wasted in any way. It   
had been far easier than he would have thought to introduce the   
modified cells into her system - a routine flu shot. The slow, hard   
death made more of impact on Lex. He would never let anyone get under  
his skin enough to influence him again. The risk of pain was too   
great. Pamela's leaving had only reinforced that. Lionel had loved   
Lilly more than anything in the world, but a good parent always puts  
his child first. He knew she would have understood that.   
  
End   
  
Author's Notes: The verse excerpt at the beginning of the  
story is from the 23rd Psalm.   
The movie quote is from the 1969 movie Hello Dolly 


End file.
